I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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