Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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