One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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