Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
