my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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