he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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