grandma shit on top of the toilet
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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