College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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