I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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