Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
