so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
