Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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