who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize