I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
