Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
