what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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