She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
