girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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