Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
