The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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