I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My feet surprised me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
