Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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