I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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