FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
