I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
