You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
