Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize