when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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