Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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