Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
