the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
