just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
