There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
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last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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