The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You may now shotgun with the bride
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
