Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
