i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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