Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
