Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize