I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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