I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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