i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
