this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
