So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
