Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
one might say we're banned from that church
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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