I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
