They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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