Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
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