All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
