It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
