Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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