Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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