Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So much rum. So many feels.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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