Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
