she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
