love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my being single is dangerous.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
