you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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