mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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