Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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