I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
