the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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