yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
