WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
